There are so many incredible women out there who inspire and impress me. Big names in politics, the arts and sciences. And there are so many in my day to day life that impress me even more, with their tenacity, courage, creativity and compassion. Amongst these wonderful women is Lily Dunn. Lily is a writer, lecturer (in Creative Non-fiction at Bath Spa University), a mother, a daughter, recently a Dr and my very dear friend.
We met at university in Manchester, studying Art History. Lily was quiet to my bold, cautious to my reckless, we clicked and became good friends. Lily felt a little exotic, from a bohemian London family of writers and publishers, a contrast to my Northern, working class roots. Just beneath the surface of her shine, I could see a tender young woman. In fact her background had been one of complexity; a father who abandoned his family to pursue the Sannyasin way of life in India. He relinquished his fatherly responsibilities and left Lily’s mum to gather the pieces and hold her family alone. He eventually descended into alcoholism, from which he died some years ago. The impact of this desertion on Lily was profound. She recently published a book, ‘Sins of My Father; a daughter, a cult, a wild unravelling’, exploring (with almost forensic focus), the relationship with her father and the impact he had on her life. What I admire so much in this, is Lily’s determination to stare unflinchingly at her experience. To use her creativity and curiosity to unravel the tangled threads and state her experience without apology, though not without care for others that were affected too. This process has taken years, she never gave up. Through many life challenges she stuck with the wisdom of the need to express and explore, though at times it cost her a great deal.
She brings all those wonderful qualities to our friendship too. I am lucky to have this brave, passionate and wise soul in my life, who reminds me of the transformative possibilities of exploring the darkness, expressing the withheld and loving ourselves enough to trust the process.
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Nova Nolan
UMEtalk Integrative Counsellor
UMEUS CIC Director